i want so much to be able to sit down and capture all that i see in a form that does it justice. to join the masters of literary history in being able to express the curse of seeing through human facades to the grit that underlies it all, whether that grit be dirt or unpolished diamond.

darkness is so confused with light and sickness with health that very few know the difference. we have rules, we have corrupt priests, we have sadomasochistic penalties, and there are so many taken in by it all that they don't see the waste in it.

the reason that so many things written hundreds of years ago seem eerily modern when stripped down to their basic ingredients and conflicts is the ever-ignored fact that through all our advancements man has only succeeded as of yet at pampering his body rather than enriching his soul. our world has changed in appearance only, not in nature. science has helped us live longer, but the arts have failed to help us live more fully (or have we failed the arts?). essayists, masters of prose, and patrons of the stage have tried to point us toward meaningful goals; we have given them certificates, material goods, or worse, and sent them on their way. few of us are any the better for it, being unwilling ("unable") to conquer the weakness inside of us, the hunger for the immediate good.

perhaps we are, as some would insist, incapable of overcoming our own weaknesses; perhaps we need help from some higher power who purposely created us with these weaknesses. i'd like to agree with this notion since it's capable of removing all sense of personal responsibility for our own shortcomings. it can also lead to apathy, complacency, and psychospiritual atrophy...but that's the price you pay for protracted comfort.

when it comes down to it, i suppose i'm just not very skilled in unveiling human nature then repackaging it in fictional form; i'd rather just describe it in plain english, dull as it may be.

a brief and terribly undescriptive return - 10.28.04
- - 09.17.04
- - 08.16.04
- - 08.13.04
- - 07.30.04