i've lasted about 3 1/2 hours since the drive, and that's all that can or should be expected of me. i can try to forget, and succeed temporarily, but eventually it comes back to haunt me. how much i hate this place. how i'd have to return. (should've bought those posters. both of them.) it was nice to have a reprieve, very nice, but it's over, and now i have a taste of a place where i'd fit in infinitely better. can't have the best of both worlds, i suppose; either way, it's a sacrifice.

i'm tired of trying (what little trying i've done). people don't understand, don't know what to do, and the idea that i'd tell them without them so much as asking is absurd. i come closer to simply giving up every day; i don't know how to deal with life here any more than others know how to deal with me. the plan is to muddle through until my four year sentence is over so i can go panhandle somewhere in peace (or drive a truck, whichever turns out easier to accomplish).

a brief and terribly undescriptive return - 10.28.04
- - 09.17.04
- - 08.16.04
- - 08.13.04
- - 07.30.04