i absolutely despise where my life is at this point, and i can see no plausible way to change that.

i literally serve no purpose. i live of myself, to myself, within myself. excluding perhaps my parents, i truly matter to noone; very few people (if any) matter to me.

my time remains wasted because i have no purpose for which to work, no reason to seek excellence, no cause to try harder. i can't tell you how pointless of a talent mere above average intelligence seems to me at some times, most times. i'm no visionary.

i just exist. i wonder why. i'm sure the food could be put to better use.

this used to be longer, but do to one of those accidental erasures i so love, i'll just be posting the short version of my complaints.

a brief and terribly undescriptive return - 10.28.04
- - 09.17.04
- - 08.16.04
- - 08.13.04
- - 07.30.04