sometimes expression fails emotion, writer's block takes over, and i can see nothing but a blank screen. i could simply recount events, but that would defeat the purpose and tradition of intentional vagueness necessary for both taste and avoidance of awkwardness when utilising a public medium for conveying personal concepts.

over and over, all i know is that it's not what it should be. i may be stubborn, but i also may not be as strong as i wish i were. i guess we'll just see how much of this i can take before i finally lose it. one would think it has to end somewhere, but there's no end in sight. patience and hope, our two bastions, wear thin after awhile, the frustration below peeking through in places.

how much of it is inwardly contrived and how much is outwardly imposed remains a mystery to me. all i know is that i seem powerless to stop or even change it. the road to my heart is paved with misinterpreted intentions. traits just outside the realm of empirical knowledge.

a brief and terribly undescriptive return - 10.28.04
- - 09.17.04
- - 08.16.04
- - 08.13.04
- - 07.30.04