so if it's true, if it's really true, a lot of us (me included) have a lot to answer for. last week, yesterday, two hours ago. our responsibility has turned into such a cliché that we have no idea what we're doing to life anymore. "don't take it for granted" - yeah, sure, whatever; leave me alone. then what? a movie, a snack, some time looking for amusement on the internet. time spent (wasted) pushing others away.

sad, really, when you think about it. take a terminally ill patient who's actually able to walk about outside. would you honestly expect to see a man with six days left to live walking among trees red, yellow, and brown with his eyes trained on the ground? would you do that in his position? would you not soak it in for all it's worth? would you not make every effort to tell those whom you know you care about just how much they've enriched your life?

take a good look at it, and you'll realize that attitude is indeed a choice - one of the very, very few things that we can control. once you've admitted that, you're forced to also admit that sulking is a luxury and a selfishness. selfishness is often used as an attack on suicide; the same goes for a bad attitude. suicide is depriving those who love you of that piece of their lives; a bad attitude is depriving those with whom you come in contact of that piece of their day.

strong words, and they hold if it's true. well, is it? of course it is. tomorrow's not guaranteed. why are we living as if we have millenia to make up for former indiscretions when our next breath could very well be our last?

a brief and terribly undescriptive return - 10.28.04
- - 09.17.04
- - 08.16.04
- - 08.13.04
- - 07.30.04