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time, time, time to see what's become of me
10.13.03 12:31 a.m.
honestly? i'm tired of making excuses. if more people would take the time to make an honest inquiry as to my motives or my reasoning...more people would be taken aback by the answers they got. you? well, you're immature. you're insincere. and you - you've got so many things backwards i don't know where to begin. i try to avoid coming off as offensive, unless it plays into my sense of humor, in which case people can kiss it if they don't like my discretion. that leaves me with a rather bland persona, and it bugs me. but what am i to do? no one has time to hear why i think nothing is as it should be, and no one has time to do things differently. that's the problem, really - time. there are too many options and too many people who are interested in the options. we've added a sense of urgency to life and thus subtracted its possibility for fulfillment. God didn't create adam with a desk job, a mortgage, and a cell phone. He created him with food and a woman - perhaps we could learn something. if it meant not being able to play with all these nice electronic toys, i'd return to simpler times in a second. i don't belong in the 21st century. i belong where people have time to sit down and have cocoa for a good two, three hours. we have pop psychology to tell us that we can be fulfilled, and we pay the psychologist with enough time and money (which equates to time in our culture) to choke a horse, resources that we could be spending with people with whom we've formed meaningful relationships - if we took the time to do that in the first place. if there's one thing that saddens me, it's that quality time has disappeared from the average person's schedule. there's too much else to do, no matter how young or old you are. from homework to sports to the office, interaction takes on a whole new meaning. every time (rare as they are) that i do manage to experience quality time, it only makes me lament how little of it there is left. oh, the precious few who cling to what it means to be alive. perhaps some day i'll find one of the opposite sex. a brief and terribly undescriptive return - 10.28.04 |