...and when i find myself lost once again; when i've one more time lost the dream, the excitement that comes with it, and all hope of ever being anything i could have ever wanted to be, "...deeper i wanna scream; i want You to hear me; i want You to find me, cause i, i want to believe, but all i pray is wrong, and all i claim is gone...and i, i've got a question; i've got a question - where are You?"*

I don't know what's wrong; very few do. I can't answer the questions on my own, try though i may, wish though i may, struggle though i may. That may very well be both the hardest part of it all and the door out, if only i could force myself to grab the knob against my best judgement. No matter who says differently, humans aren't in control. Those who try to prove otherwise end their lives run into the ground - they have forfeited their own freedom by attempting to rob others of theirs.

Peace is extracted from life not by eliminating one's weaknesses - as soon as one is conquered, another will spring up to take its place - but by embracing them and surrendering himself to the fact that he can't possibly control everything to make it go the way he wants it to, but that the One Who does control everything has his best interests at heart. That goes against human nature - perhaps that's why so few understand. So few know that life is lived on borrowed strength, and out of those who know, i'd probably wager that fewer still take it to heart.

I can't do this alone.

*Jars of Clay - "Silence"