OK, time for jigga to get pissed at himself. Jigga is immature, jigga is an imbecile...and most of all, jigga never learns, no matter how much jigga tries.

So i was getting ready to go to prayer tonight, and mostly all i could think of was to thank God for all i've been experiencing recently - i've grown closer to some of the greatest people i've ever met, and i've found something to do with my time that i think i can actually enjoy and use (i plan to get my hands on books by different philosophers and read like it's my job). Hence, i was doing pretty well going into the meeting.

We got there, and it's the last meeting of the semester, so it was "reflection time" for the better part of the time we were there. Well, i've only been going for three weeks, so while everyone else was talking on and on about how much they love everyone else and how they've always been there for them to pray, talk or listen, all i could think about was how i haven't had those opportunities (not that it's their fault) - i'm just not as close to any of them as they are to each other. This made me depressed.

I also began to question my inner motivations and the reasons why i was there in the first place or why i was feeling depressed. This is not good. I will not go into details (for crying out loud, this is the internet); suffice it to say, this is not good.

After the meeting, my spirits were lifted a little as we were all given the stern command to not leave without hugging everyone in the room (something i've missed this semester). Still, i couldn't help being mad at myself for this little outburst of weakness and all the thoughts it's stirred up inside of me. Stupid, stupid jigga...

I'm done now.

a brief and terribly undescriptive return - 10.28.04
- - 09.17.04
- - 08.16.04
- - 08.13.04
- - 07.30.04