So i went for a walk tonight because i didn't want to sit in my room for the rest of the night, and that was the alternative to going for a walk (at 9 tonight). By accident i ran into just the group of friends i always hope to run into but rarely do, and i ended up at a student-led prayer meeting. I need more of that; i knew it would be good for me, so i went. As normally happens when i actually spend a decent amount of time in prayer, i began to think about my life, and one thing shone clearly.

I don't do enough. I constantly pray for God to be in control of my life, i'm praying more than i used to, and i'm sick of my bad habits, i really am...but i don't do enough. I don't pray enough, i don't seek God enough...i don't live the life i should. Sometimes i feel like i'm praying in the night to the sky, and a song began to come to mind...

There were times when I was crying
From the dark of Daniel’s den
And I have asked you once or twice
If you would part the sea again
But tonight I do not need a fiery pillar in the sky
I just want to know you’re gonna hold me if I start to cry

Oh Great God, Be small enough to hear me now

There have been moments
When I could not face Goliath on my own
And how could I forget we’ve marched
Around our share of Jerichos
But I will not be setting out
A fleece for you tonight
I just want to know that everything will be alright

Oh Great God, Be small enough to hear me now

All praise and all the honor be
To the God of ancient mysteries
Whose every sign and wonder
Turned the pages of our history
But tonight my heart is heavy
And I can not keep from whispering this prayer:
Are you there?

And I know you could leave writing
On the wall that’s just for me
Or send wisdom while I’m sleeping
Like in Solomon’s sweet dreams
But I don’t need the strength of Samson
Or a chariot in the end
I just want to know that you still know
How many hairs are on my head

Oh Great God, Be small enough to hear me now

~Nichole Nordeman - "Small Enough"

Great song...i don't really have a ground-breaking truth or profound insight...just yet...all i know is that i need to make more of an effort, and it starts from the inside out.

a brief and terribly undescriptive return - 10.28.04
- - 09.17.04
- - 08.16.04
- - 08.13.04
- - 07.30.04