So i was praying today (at least i did something right)...praying as usual that God would show me what in the world i'm supposed to do with my life - what His plan is. In the midst of this, He stopped me and asked, "Do you want to know what to do because you want to serve Me, or do you just want a quick answer?" - in other words, is it for Him, or is it just that i don't want to make a decision, so i'm trying to get God to do it?

Wow. That kinda stopped me in my tracks. The answer was obvious - i want to know what God wants me to do because it's the easy way out. I've been taught all my life that there's a pre-made plan out there just for me; all i have to do is find it. The easiest way to find it is, of course, to ask God for it. Picture my surprise when i find out that's not the whole picture.

I went to alternative chapel tonight (hotter, but at least there are good songs), and the speaker spoke about the time when she gave her life to God - the sermon that night had been on Isaiah 6. Isaiah 6:1-8 tells the story of Isaiah's vision of God in the same year as the death of his friend, King Uzziah. It ends with the all-too-familiar exchange between God and Isaiah:

God: "Whom shall we send, and who will go for us?"
Isaiah: "Here I am; send me."

Relevant? Quite. We search for a plan of action so we can do things for ourselves. God seeks to send us to do His work. We must be Christians before attempting to be contributing members of society. All our efforts amount to nothing if we're making them on the basis of a plan, whether it's a well thought-out plan or not. The Bible is shot through with stories of plans being turned to nothing and fortunes being broken in a moment. We must seek God, not a plan. The Person before the actions.

...I've gotta make a note of this moment for the next time i feel that i'm getting nowhere in prayer.

a brief and terribly undescriptive return - 10.28.04
- - 09.17.04
- - 08.16.04
- - 08.13.04
- - 07.30.04